Have you ever noticed that certain traits or behaviors in others cause a negative reaction in you? In most of those cases, we’d probably admit that our emotional response was disproportionate to the infraction.
When we take the time to explore this area of our lives, it can lead to greater personal growth.
I think most people that know me would say that I’m a pretty congenial type of guy. I continue to work on myself and that helps me to be understanding of others. But there are circumstances where I get upset very easily. The common occurrence of getting cut off in traffic or receiving poor customer service has a greater effect than it should. I perceive the event as significant disrespect and an outright injustice. I personalize it to my core.
There were parts of my upbringing I felt a tremendous lack of respect and an absence of validation. So when I experience an inconsiderate action, it takes me right back to that young place in me. I experience the injustice with the full force of emotions that surrounds that childhood wound.
Processing this allows me to understand and start healing this past area of my life. This in turn allows me to remain truer to the man I desire to be.
Professionally, I have chosen to performing a project for less money than another equivalent opportunity. I chose the project based on feeling valued and respected. The appreciation I felt, gave me a far greater sense of satisfaction than what the difference in compensation represented.
If we view sources of our reactions as teachers, we can actually experience a growth that improves our ability to move forward with a greater sense of freedom, peace and happiness. In the end, I think you have to admit that it’s a pretty fair trade.
Everyone of us has a WHY, a deep-rooted purpose, cause or belief that is the source of our passion and inspiration. You may not yet know what yours is or how to express it in words. But you have one.
Fulfillment is another word for happiness, but there’s more to it. All kinds of things make us happy at work: hitting a goal, getting a promotion, gaining a new client. But happiness is temporary; the feeling doesn’t last.
Fulfillment is deeper. Fulfillment lasts. The difference between happiness and fulfillment is the difference between liking something and loving something. Fulfillment comes when our job or life connects directly to our WHY.
The journey to understanding your why is an important one. The conclusions can navigate you through difficult storms or help you weigh tough decisions with significant outcomes. It can be an important measuring stick to guide you through a variety of choices you will face as you travel your path.
Consider pursuing more clarity in what it is that truly drives you at the core of who you are. And the deeper WHY behind it.
Most of this message was taken from the book “Find Your Why” by Simon Sinek. It’s filled with practical insights that will equip you as you chase the essence of your calling in life. Happy reading!!
How do you feel when you are sitting still in a quiet place with no distractions? What happens when you are in a place of solitude? Is it peace. . . or is it a hard to place sense of uneasiness?
Some of us find this to be an uncomfortable exercise to do. We much rather fill our time with busyness, tasks, noise – all as random distractions, rather than actually feeling what might be within us.
If we are in a constant state of distraction, we may never understand what we might be feeling below the surface. The pursuit of what is true within us isn’t some form of psycho-babble or trying to reach a state of Kumbaya warm fuzzies, but a very practical way to make progress in our journey. If we can get clarity on what we are potentially stuffing and distracting ourselves from, we can then take the next step of why it is within us. Answering the “why” puts us in the position to make the adjustments necessary, that ultimately provides freedom, contentment and authenticity in our lives.
When we do this work of excavation and discovery, the information we uncover provides the data we need to live with a sense of intentionality.
A superior man tolerates nothing. Accepting this truth is a path to a greater journey.
Are you aware of what you might be tolerating in your life? Do you know what is chipping away at your power, joy, and ability to experience light-hearted pleasure? You might want to consider working with someone who is capable of guiding you and encouraging you through this process. The transformation is life changing, and takes you closer to the path of your potential.
There’s comfort in routine, in doing things the way we are used to doing them. We are creatures of habit. Often routines and habits develop in our lives without us consciously choosing them. Some daily patterns may form out of a healthy place in our lives, and that is good. But some may have formed from unhealthy places that we gravitated to as survival or coping behaviors – or just shear comfort. These are the habits we would be wise to evaluate.
There is a good likelihood that we have chosen routines and habits that actually work in direct opposition from what we deeply long for in our lives. If we do not take the time to intentionally weigh the benefit of our ways, we could end up living lives counter to our deepest aspirations. As tragic of a thought as that might be, it is quite a normal occurrence for a great many of us.
Progress starts with the willingness to take personal stock in how we live our lives and the daily habits we have embraced, while measuring them against the goals for our lives. This reflection is of vital importance for our growth. Continued assessment begins the process of transformation that leads us to the power, passion, creativity, and joy we deeply long for in our journeys. But many of our existing ways will not take us to this place. We must arrive at the deep conviction to break free from our old ways and embrace the promise of the new.
There is much that lies beyond the door of the new, but only you can choose to pursue it. The choice will always be yours. So what’s your move?
I have come to understand the vital importance of identity in our lives. It’s one of the most defining issues in determining the ultimate success of an individual. How we see ourselves, how we see our capabilities and how we see our role in this world are some of the most significant factors that shapes our existence. I’m not referring to how most of us would respond to these questions at the surface level. Rather, deep within us, where our core beliefs drive us at a sub conscience level, we have answered those questions. And we’ve done so in ways we aren’t fully aware. We tend to remain clueless about our answers unless we’ve invested a considerable amount of work in this area.
It is very difficult to live beyond our own perceived identity. In most cases, our self-imposed limitations are a larger factor in determining how far we we go and the successes we will experience than the external circumstances we might face throughout our lives.
Doing the deep work of your identity and bringing truth in where there may be false perceptions is vital to reaching our God-given potential.
Have you made an investment in this area of your life? If you haven’t, what’s keeping you from doing so?
A good portion of the anxiety we experience stems from concerns about our future and what it holds. Somehow we think we’ll be better prepared by dreading over what is to come. The thought process is not constructive. There’s no logic or productiveness to the lineage of thought. It’s actually obsessive thoughts stuck on repeat. In the end, it’s wasted energy that serves no practical purpose.
Fretting about the future, removes us from the present. And the present is the one place that we do have the ability to influence.
So when concerns about tomorrow come, keep in mind that the best thing we can do for our tomorrow is to be fully present today.
Life is constantly offering us opportunities to grow. Many of us miss these valuable lessons because they often come in the form of a challenge that we’d prefer not to deal with. We perceive these circumstances as an inconvenience, an outright disruption to our every day lives. But if we have the discipline to re-frame how we see the circumstance, we can actually view it as a gift.
The first time someone shared this thought with me, I wasn’t in a good place. As I heard the advise, some not so pleasant words formulated as a response. Fortunately, they never got expressed. Instead, I reflected on the wisdom of my friend’s words and realized he was right. The spot I found myself in, as painful as it was, was a great opportunity for me to actually learn.
By exploring where I found myself and why I felt the way I did, helped me gain significant understanding.
By learning from our current circumstance, we place ourselves in a better position to handle the future. This practical wisdom is such a valuable tool when navigating the path of life with all of its ups and downs.
Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. If we have to go through them, we might as well benefit from the experience. This re-framing of our perspective and approach can make a significant difference in the richness of our journey.
Working with what’s given to you. A simple but vital concept for achieving the progress we desire.
Few of us have the luxury of having everything we want or everything we feel we need to achieve the next level. Whether it’s financial independence, career satisfaction, or relational depth, embracing this perspective is key to what we seek.
Developing the mindset to play the cards dealt to us, doing so to the best of our ability, while making the most of what we can, where we are right now – it’s all an attitude we determine.
We may not have control of the circumstances that come our way, but we certainly have control of how we react to them.
People who succeed are those who have determined not to make excuses as to why they can’t move forward in life.
It’s important to be deeply grateful for what we have here and now… while also pushing ahead to where we want to be. Both mindsets can co-exist. There is no tension in the embracing of both thoughts: gratitude for where we are, with determination to move forward.
Each of us possess the power to make progress or make excuses why we can’t. The choice will always be ours, and ours alone.
Which will you chose?
A friend of mine reminded me the other day the importance of intentional breathing. They could tell that some life events were starting to take a toll on me.
Many of us live pressure filled lives and stress naturally builds up causing our body to react with shorter, quicker breathing that robs the body of needed oxygen.
It may seem obvious that we need oxygen but we may not be as aware of all the benefits we receive from something we take for granted.
Decreases stress
Increases calm
Relieves pain
Stimulates the lymphatic system (Detoxifies the body)
Improves immunity
Increases energy
Lowers blood pressure
Improves digestion
Helps support correct posture
Box breathing is a powerful, yet simple, relaxation technique that aims to return breathing to its normal rhythm. This breathing exercise can help to clear the mind, relax the body, and improve focus.
People with high-stress jobs, such as soldiers and police officers, often use box breathing when their bodies are in fight-or-flight mode. This technique is also relevant for anyone interested in re-centering themselves or improving their concentration.
Before starting, people should sit with their back supported in a comfortable chair and their feet on the floor.
Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose while counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs.
Hold your breath inside while counting slowly to four. Try not to clamp your mouth or nose shut. Simply avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds. Begin to slowly exhale for 4 seconds. Wait for 4 seconds prior to repeating steps 1 through 3. Ideally, continue doing the four steps for 4 minutes, or until calm returns.
So when you sense things are getting tough, be good to yourself. Stop, relax, and breathe deep.
Remember, you got this!